love = ahhhhhhh!!!??

I don't know how I've been able to remain semi sane this weekend. Abbey was sick; she's still sick but getting better thank God. I felt so helpless as she felt bad, I wanted to see my little one happy again. I dont know how other people do it; to see their child always sick? that has to kill you inside slowly; we're very lucky that Abbey's healthy aside from her stomach virus. To top it off; they are tenting our building to fumigated so, we're living with Ry's parents until Wednesday. It really wasn't that bad; I am tired though but I think I'm more mentally tired than anything else.
Ry annoys me; he drives me to the wall. Is it supposed to be like that? Love equals annoyance? I don't know; what if we never fought or disagree? Would that be better or worse? He pushes my bottoms and I push his; but I think at the end we both know we love each other and that's that. I don't want to stop feeling black butterflies; sometimes I feel like there's so much shit to do that I don't have time to give him kisses; I need to stop that. There's always time for kisses and hugs and love. That's probably why marriages fail because life gets in the way of cherishing the love and the unity. Fuck that. I won't let it. Somehow I'll have to figure it all out...I still haven't. I still struggle to juggle it all. I still get frustruated and pissed off. I annoy myself but I guess change doesn't happen over night; it takes time. I think I'm handeling Abbey better though; it helped to read that other moms go thru the exact same thing; same reactions and tantrums...it's comforting to know that I'm not alone. It's all good; life goes on and at least we won't have more ants in the apartment when this is over.