asshole money.

Money is not my friend lately; it's a mix of bills getting higher and me spending on shit I dont really need but this is all going to change. I know that I cannot control the economy, I can't control how much a bill is going to be (I could try to make it less but it's inevitable) what I can control is my decisions. I decide to not spend on anything but essentials; which means we dont go out and spend one penny so, we are going to have to get creative. Ryan and I decided to take on the no spending month challenge just to see how much we are spending on unnessasary things. I'm sure the results will amaze us, I also talked to Peanuts about it since she's also in a money hole and she might do the same. I honestly don't know what the big deal is? There's plenty of free events to go sometimes, there're indoor activities we can do, quality time to spend together, work on ourselves, work on crafts, we can do things that don't require a lot of money like going to the pool or the park. There's no need to go out and drink $20 worth of beer, a 12 pack costs less and I could drink it happily at home, not every weekend either. Some changes need to be made; I feel that if these things dont change now then it'll be harder to change them later. I need to get used to spending less; it's amazing how now days, us...humanity seems to depend on a full schedule, events here...doing this and that, going here and there. Look at monks, how simple yet fulfilling their life is. I'm sure they get together and drink some wine and talk all night. No need for more, it's funny but I'm beginning to learn that when it comes to a social life less is more and you make the best out of it. You work on yourself, you explore, you create, you read, you dance, you learn, you love, you laugh. That's what is about.

When I read about what's going on in other countries, places like Africa and the middle East. When I find out that families are forces to live in a refugee camp among trash because there's no enough space it makes me want to slap myself in the face. I sit here, complaining about stupid ass shit when there's real suffering going on, real misfortune. It makes whatever it is I'm going thru seem so stupid and yet this people somehow still find it in their hearts to be kind, it's amazing. I wish I could meet them, although being over there would probably break my heart but I know I would learn so much from them. I know that once I see the real trials they face every day it'll give me enough courage and always feel blessed, to not be ungrateful not even for the bad because there's always someone going thru something worse. It saddens me to think that this is real, that people are suffering like that but there's nothing I could really do, but learn from this and use it to make my life better, to be thankful for every single thing and even the lack of it. I just pray that people who could help, find it in their hearts to do so maybe one day I could do something more than praying.
The weekend was great; I'm still on cloud 9 from the cold medicine which I decided to stop taking as of this morning. Friday Ry and I played some poker and spent some time together alone. Saturday we went to the moon faire at coral castle, Abbey didnt really like the drum circle although it was her first. We did spend some time looking for bugs, hugging trees and running around. I swear that little girl keeps me going; as tired as I am I would run up and down with her just to see that exciting and happy look in her face. Later that night, the Jew picked me up and we went to Tony's drank some beer and talked shit for a while then we went to the grove. It was practically empty, we hung out at Fat Tuesday and then we went to the Tarvern. Hit Taco Bell at 3 am like always and went home. Sunday I cleaned and went to see the park for Abbey's party which I'm hoping to book today. The rest of the day was pretty laid back and lazy, sundays are always like that for some reason.