First literary rejection

My friend Kate read my book; she liked it and gave me pointers on it. I went back revised it and decided to write my query letter which I think is pretty good. I went ahead and emailed about 12 agents because as it turns out almost every good publisher doesnt accept queries unless it's submitted by a literary agent so, I decided to gather as much information about it and I emailed my query to them. A couple of hours later I got my first literary rejection which sucked but at least it wasn't that bad, the guy was nice enough to say that other opinions vary and that he wishes me luck on my search for representation. Well, I feel kind of like a real writer already...I've read about the rejections and the long search for a good agent but I feel accomplished that at least I got off my ass I did something in regards to my dream. I'm taking it easy and seeing what life guides me. It'll really be awesome of I could turn this passion of mine into a real job but I know good things dont come easy.
I'm completely over the stupid flu I had and I'm ready for some fun; tonight's karaoke and I'm thinking cowboy hat and 3d glasses :) aside from that I dont know if Linda's "boyfriend" will be...I haven't been the third wheel in a long ass time and I'm seriously not up for it tonight. I dont feel like cooking today at all. PIZZA!!

soul mate?

One thing I managed to do this weekend is go to the movies and watch 500 days of summer, remarkable movie. It shows the truth about love, sometimes you might meet someone and find in them everything you've wanted and you might think they're your soul-mate, that specific person you are meant to be with but that doesnt mean you are their soul-mate. That doesnt mean that you are both supposed to be end up together. I could think back and mention a few guys I've been with who probably saw me as "the one". I could actually name about four guys who maybe still hold me close to their memories as the one who got away, but in the end...in the bottom of my heart, I knew it wasn't them. Sometimes, what you see it's not what you get...sometimes, timing's just off. Sometimes, it simply isn't it and you just have to walk away and who knows. maybe you'll really meet your real soul mate. I'm sure there're a good number of people we can easily be happy with but does that mean, they are you soul mate? I dont know, maybe I'll never know. Ry has always been so special to me, since the moment I saw him he got tattooed in my soul like no other guy and we are almost two years together "married" which could change a lot of things but we are still here and we are happy, things did change because a child makes things different but I love him, up to this point...I could say he is my soul mate, at least the closer thing I've had to a soulmate so far. Anyway, so everyone should see this movie...and comprehend the lesson within it maybe it'll make us all understand why some things simply dont work out although that doesnt' mean it'll hurt any less.

So, I was pretty bummed out yesterday but eventually I cheered up. Peanuts didnt work at night so she came home early and cooked dinner (yai) and did dishes so I basically got to play with Abbey and relax which helped my mood. I wanted to jog at night but it started pouring so, I decided to make fun of my mood and threw myself a pity party (literally) I have to admit I actually had a blast :)

Pity Party

Welcome to Karin's pity party, please take a seat and shut the fuck up.

Due to my lack of weekend DUE to the fact that I was sick as a dog all fucking weekend starting from friday night, I feel like a negative little ghome today. I feel so fucking bummed out that I dont want to talk to anyone, I just want to sit here and throw myself a little pity party in order to let things out and hopefully feel better. I'm so glad that I dont have Abbey today, wouldn't want her near me feeling like this, feeling this negative and bitter. I dont want to know about anyone right now, first because their happiness will piss me off and secondly because I wouldn't want them to feel like I do, which I'm sure my darkness right now is strong enough to cut through anyone's good spirits. BALLS. yea BALLS...that's what I said. Balls meaning, shit and fuck don't cut it no more, so I say BALLS right now.
I'm pissed off that I didnt have a weekend, I was sick and felt like shit. I couldn't do any of the things I actually wanted to do, like paint...like play etc. Abbey's reaction to the magical tent was not what we expected but at least after she realized what was going on she liked it and then 10 minutes later she tripped over it and ripped it, so that was that. We were so bummed out, whatever she's a baby, babies trip.
I'm tired, I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I dont care if careerbuilder.com says that 41% of workers live like that, I DON'T want to live like this. I'm tired of having to decide which bill I pay and which will have to wait because I can't pay both plus daycare.
I'm tired of my hair, I'm tired of NOT liking my hair. In general I'm just so fucking tired of all the stupid little things that I cannot change. BALLS.
Whatever, I need to stop being such a pussy...so what if I had a bad weekend? I have so many good weekends that having a bad weekend is kinda entitled. So what if I live paycheck to paycheck? At least Abbey always has what she needs and in reality if I was living p2p then I wouldn't been able to get George Thorogood and the Destroyers c.d this weekend. I'm just such a baby sometimes, too. I need to look at the positives, like Abbey didnt get sick...like I still got to go to the movies friday night before I got dog sick, like I was somehow able to lysol the shit out of my house to try to protect everyone from getting this horseshit virus, like it's monday and at least I didnt have to come to work feeling like total crap. Yea, so pity party's over.

P.S
Fuck my hair.