Give me your disaster and I'll create a masterpiece.

Things have taken such a turn, it's a whole different game plan. I was taken by total surprise, between the daily bullshit I've been dealing with to crazy and fun distractions that came from out of nowhere, all in all I'm coping. I try not to stress it, I try to go with the flow knowing that things will happen and it'll take its course, I dont put expectations out there, I simply hope for the best and try to keep it real. I know that everything else that's happening, is happening for a reason. No point on wondering, stressing, worrying, that stuff will kill you. I can't help but to go with it, enjoy this new sky and fly.

"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."

You can't force things, you can't unforce them either. What's meant to happen will happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You can sit there and ponder, worry, stress it, or whatever but that won't stop life from happening and things to evolve, develope or end. I can't sit here and pretend that I'm not who I am, can't tame my own nature, can't sabotage my state of mind. I'm simply trying my best to play the cards right, to follow my instints, to create a master piece with the shadows and darkness of my own mind.

Let it be, things fall apart, you gotta learn how to trust and know it'll work out.

let's play pretend.

What I like the most about being a mom is the fact that all my silliness and childhood energy comes back from time to time, it reminds me of life before the bullshit, before things got complicated. I could sit down with Abbey and talk about silly things, and lose myself in the moment with her. Is kinda what Angelina Jolie said recently "At some point, I got closed off, darker. I don't remember anything happening. I think you just get hit with the realities of certain things in life, think too much, start to realize the world isn't as you wished it would be, so you deepen. Then, as I had kids and got older -- being goofy, lighter -- it all came back"
So, Monday's here again and the weekend was so fun, got to dress up like pirates saturday and board a ship for a wedding, got to dance and watch drunk people fall off stages friday night, got to spend some alone time which is good also and got to basically spend time with Abbey and take care of things. Isn't life a big pretend game? We pretend things don't bother us, we pretend they do, we pretend is okay, we pretend is not, sometimes it's crucial that we do this in order to move on, I'm not one to wear masks or put up fronts, but sometimes is necessary in order to go on with yourself, with your life, with the timing of things. I'm doing good, in the process and playing with it the best way I can.