Look at the bright side

I find myself stuck in a gray cloud today due to finances. I pay things late, except for daycare. I am having some difficulties making ends meet to the point where I would like to get a second job or something but then I wouldn't see Abbey as much. I dont' know...when I was little I used to draw this eye in a sun thing and to me, it meant look at the bright side and I would always draw it, was it an early sign that life is shitty and will always have shitty moments so, we need to be constantly reminded that we must look beyond the bullshit and try to see the positive? I am scrapping it next week, like always. I must try to not spend ANY money or spend as little as possible even if it means making some sacrifices. I could sit here and complain about how unfair it is that some people have soooo much money and yet some have nothing but then again what I might have right now could be a fortune to those less fortunate than me. I don't know, I'm kinda bummed about it but I promised I wasn't gonna let this BULLSHIT affect me this way, it will work out at least I've got what I've got and I'm thankful.

When the going gets tough...

THE TOUGH GET GOING!!

If there's anything people know about me or seem to catch on quickly is that I'm strong. I might not be physically strong although I could probably put up a good fight but I'm mentally strong. I have strong beliefs and when I decide to do something, there's no stopping me. Somehow the lack of money always seems to break me a little bit. The fact that I can't keep up with all the shit I need to pay sometimes pisses me off. I still manage to make it work but in the meantime I stress myself so bad. I MUST STOP THIS SHIT.
I think everyone has people calling them, unpaid bullshit, etc. You just have to deal with it, luckily I'm not alone and Ry is willing to help and therefore once again, it's going to be okay. Christian mentioned how I must stop being so hard on myself when these things happen because it's not fair. I bust my fucking ass to provide for myself and my family and if I could bust my ass more and work 2 jobs I'll totally do it but I know that I wont spend time with them and that will kill me but I wouldn't think twice about it if I had to just to make sure she gets what she needs. I do a good job, I try to the last drop my best to be a good mom/wife/friend. I'm not perfect, I fuck up and will continue to fuck up but you know what, I'm here and I'm doing what I can...it'll be okay, I know that. Ironically enough the hardest part about the situation is not the situation itself, but my damn mentality about it. Must lay off.