Trust and Freedom

Childhood: ignorance was bliss, we didn't know how life worked and we trusted that everything will be provided, as adults we should try to conserve that trust and freedom we once had.
I thought about this today before I got to work, I know it was way to early to be phylosophizing but I couldnt help it. I was thinking about Abbey, about all the upcoming events she will be attending in summer camp at school, she has field trips and such, which makes me super happy and at the same time a little worried because well, because I always worry about her well being. Either way, it'll be selfish of me to not let her experience that fun just because I can't be there. It made me think of how peaceful her life is, she doesn't worry about what she's going to eat or wear, she just knows it's going to be provided for her. She has the most comfortable trust in life and that, I want. I know that as adults we must make decisions, we must pay bills, etc but there has to be a way to try and preserve that freedom we once had as children. Life will be so much easier for us, if we could figure out a way to really trust and let go.
I worry about the future at times, enough to paralize me...I wonder how things are going to work out? I wonder what will happen when Ry and I split, or when Abbey gets older, or when the car dies on me? I wonder sooo many things, and I worry because everything seems so complicated. What's funny though, is that my vision of these things is so short, I could only see as far as my nose goes and worrying doesn't really help so, when I start chocking on my own doubts, I shake it off and tell myself that it will provided because I know it will. The only thing I could actually do, is pray that things happen in the right time, that I will have enough strenght to endure what's next, enough hope to stay afloat and to follow my instints instead of my doubts, as far as the present goes, I'm gonna do my best...everything happens for a reason even the broken hearts are no accident.

I like to write while it rains...

The rain is coming, I can't see it yet but I know it's coming...God and the Universe brought our car back to us, Vilma was found Thursday afternoon, they took the radio, spoiler and messed up the ignition but thankfully nothing else was taken, they actually left us a couple of things like jumping cables and stuff, we had to turn the car on and off with a screw driver the first couple of days but Carlos totally hooked me up and yesterday I went over there and he fixed the ignition that was completely broken and also fixed the holes that were left on the trunk. So, all in all, I'm so thankful that Vilma's home, she's my old pal and I know that I gotta start thinking of another car because she's on her way to retirement. So, aside from that pretty cool weekend, a mix of good times with friends and play times with Abbey, one thing I wanna do is start walking again, I feel really good with my weight but walking at night was really good for me, not just physically but mentally, I'll have time to think and reflect which I need to do so, I know that by the time I put Abbey to bed I'm dead tired, but still, I think that other people are able to pull it off and I should be able to as well, so starting tonight I'll walk myself to sanity again.