The art of letting go

What can I say that I haven't said before? I feel like I've seen myself in this spot too many times, it's like a fucked up deja vu, like time can't move forward because I keep going back. I feel so confident and sure at times and then, something happens, a little spark grows in me and I fall back again, relapse. I think is time to recover, I wish I could go away for a month and go to a monk monastery and learn to be silent, and learn to see, learn to listen and to grow out of this. I can't afford to do that and I wouldn't want to leave my little girl anyway but maybe there's some sorta therapy I could do. Maybe I could start meditating, making more art or portraits, distract myself by dancing, less booze, less bullshit. Maybe I could start reading on the art of letting go, letting go of a situation and put it aside, I need to stop dragging this, it's done. It's funny how people seem to think I won't be able to do it, to tell you the truth, I'm a little skeptical myself but a day at a time is my plan and this time, I really don't want to go back to square one again. I want to leave the situation, let it leave me. Gone.