Pity Party

Welcome to Karin's pity party, please take a seat and shut the fuck up.

Due to my lack of weekend DUE to the fact that I was sick as a dog all fucking weekend starting from friday night, I feel like a negative little ghome today. I feel so fucking bummed out that I dont want to talk to anyone, I just want to sit here and throw myself a little pity party in order to let things out and hopefully feel better. I'm so glad that I dont have Abbey today, wouldn't want her near me feeling like this, feeling this negative and bitter. I dont want to know about anyone right now, first because their happiness will piss me off and secondly because I wouldn't want them to feel like I do, which I'm sure my darkness right now is strong enough to cut through anyone's good spirits. BALLS. yea BALLS...that's what I said. Balls meaning, shit and fuck don't cut it no more, so I say BALLS right now.
I'm pissed off that I didnt have a weekend, I was sick and felt like shit. I couldn't do any of the things I actually wanted to do, like paint...like play etc. Abbey's reaction to the magical tent was not what we expected but at least after she realized what was going on she liked it and then 10 minutes later she tripped over it and ripped it, so that was that. We were so bummed out, whatever she's a baby, babies trip.
I'm tired, I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I dont care if careerbuilder.com says that 41% of workers live like that, I DON'T want to live like this. I'm tired of having to decide which bill I pay and which will have to wait because I can't pay both plus daycare.
I'm tired of my hair, I'm tired of NOT liking my hair. In general I'm just so fucking tired of all the stupid little things that I cannot change. BALLS.
Whatever, I need to stop being such a pussy...so what if I had a bad weekend? I have so many good weekends that having a bad weekend is kinda entitled. So what if I live paycheck to paycheck? At least Abbey always has what she needs and in reality if I was living p2p then I wouldn't been able to get George Thorogood and the Destroyers c.d this weekend. I'm just such a baby sometimes, too. I need to look at the positives, like Abbey didnt get sick...like I still got to go to the movies friday night before I got dog sick, like I was somehow able to lysol the shit out of my house to try to protect everyone from getting this horseshit virus, like it's monday and at least I didnt have to come to work feeling like total crap. Yea, so pity party's over.

P.S
Fuck my hair.