I must.

I need to grab all these empty thoughts and uncontrollable energy and put it into something productive. I have ideas for photographs and cant seem to get off my ass and do it. I know that it takes a lot of time and effort to put one single shot together sometimes but it's fun; I just lose motivation just by thinking about it.

I almost lost it all for wanting it all; how stupid of me. I realized before it was too late that I need to focus on reality. I'm currently using my head. Forgive me life for not following my heart but there's no point in following something unless the timing is right otherwise it's useless and it could destroy so much. I made a mistake, wrong call, and now it's time to do some damage control. Maybe one day? Not counting on it, not even thinking about it. It's locked up in Davy Jones' Locker.

So, Christmas is almost here and we only bought Abbey's gifts which are the ones I care about the most. This weekend we are heading out and buying the rest of the things we need to buy. Everything is good, not great with us, we are trying to reconstruct things and do the best we can. Abbey's wonderful, is the one thing in my life that's constantly wonderful whether or not she's being a pain, she's always a spark of light in my otherwise confusing and chaotic mind.

Must take more photographs.